I throw up a little in my mouth when people tell me they don’t own a television.

Or only watch public television stations, maybe the MacNeil/Lehrer hour if they are feeling particularly slovenly.

I am of the first generation of humans plopped down in front of a television set to be entertained.

Whenever our mothers weren’t looking, we sat too close, heedless of the radiation that was slowly melting our brains and making us go blind at the same time.

We believed with all our hearts that Miss Diane from Romper Room could see us through the television set, our first fix of what we thought was reality TV.

Etched somewhere in my unconscious brain, where the brain cells have been destroyed so there is lots of room, are TV test patterns, the NBC Peacock, the “Star Spangled Banner” that signed off the last station at night, and all the characters with X’d-out eyes — the endless stream of violent cartoon victims.

Weaned on black and white shows my mom watched during the day — “Art Linkletter’s House Party,” “Queen for a Day,” “General Hospital” — and later, graduating to evenings with the family in pajama sets watching “Bonanza” (my brother wearing his cowboy hat and holster), there wasn’t such a thing as “bad television.”

Or if there was, you just sat there and watched it anyway, in ignorant bliss.

It is in this state of mindlessness that I escape from my Type-A job through reality television shows.

In 2000, “Survivor” had me hooked when the evil Richard Hatch played everyone to take home $1 million.

This wasn’t a villainous actor, it was a real-life lech.

How utterly decadent!

I don’t know if it is evolution, or maybe de-evolution of television through reality shows, but this is my partial list of sins:

“I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.”
“Greatest American Dog.”
“Here Come the Newlyweds.”
“High School Reunion.”
“The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette.”
“Beauty and Geek.”
“Pussycat Dolls: Search for Girlicious” (I know…).
“Farmer Takes a Wife.”
"America’s Next Top Model.”
“So You Think You Can Dance.”
“The Surreal Life.”
“Big Brother.”

Sadly, it goes on.

This is what happens when you only get basic cable.